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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986605">Sunrise over Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charcoalll/pseuds/Charcoalll'>Charcoalll</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Teaching a caged bird to fly [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>All For The Game - Nora Sakavic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Not Beta Read</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:01:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,870</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986605</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charcoalll/pseuds/Charcoalll</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Robin Cross is regretting ever signing with the Foxes more and more every day. But when a disastrous day at court leads to emotions culminating, she has a much needed talk with her coach. Turns out her recrutation wasn't as random as she thought, but why would Andrew Minyard off all people have an interest in her? </p><p>No matter what, it all ends on that cursed roof at midnight.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Robin Cross &amp; Andrew Minyard, Robin Cross &amp; David Wymack, Robin Cross &amp; Neil Josten</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Teaching a caged bird to fly [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2205765</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sunrise over Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first work in this fandom even though I've been here like since 2015. The series means a lot to me, and i finally had the courage to actually give it a shot and put something out there.<br/>Pleas leave a comment telling me if I've made any mistakes or just what you think of it! I wrote it all in one go as well, so i do hope it's coherent haha.<br/>Anyways hope you enjoy and thank you som much for reading.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Robin Cross spent a significant part of her day crying in one of many public campus bathrooms. There was one in the dorms, but Sheena had heard her one night, and since then had refused to call Robin anything but “Crybaby”, which Jack found absolutely hilarious. </p><p>She had found a bathroom with full walls instead of the normal thin stalls, right next to history class, which had become her usual hideout since the discovery. </p><p>She wanted nothing more than to go home, back to her mom and dad and the church and the dumb fucking treadmill in their basement. She could just call her dad, he would be there as fast as he could, with the pickup truck and enough boxes to be back on the road within the hour. Just one call and she could be back home. </p><p>But somehow, the idea of leaving only left her feeling even more miserable. She knew how happy har parents were for her, that she was finally living her life, without the shadow of Steven looming over her head. </p><p>If she gave up on this, they would be disappointed. Not in her, never in her, but for her. She had already caused them enough greif, there was no reason to make it even harder to be her parents than she already had. </p><p>When she sat on the bathroom floor, with her phone in hand. Thumb hovering over the call button to her dad, all she had to do was remember her dad's face when she had just returned, and walking outside the house was enough to make her pass out. His kind eyes, too old for his age, swimming with sadness and shame. </p><p>He had always blamed himself, she knew that, not as much as mom did, but still. She had heard both of them fighting about fault countless times, when they thought she was asleep. It always ended up with them crying and apologizing, and when she saw them the next day it would be like the fight had never happened. </p><p>No, she couldn’t do that to them, it wouldn’t be fair to them. Besides, she had experienced worse than the Foxes had to offer. </p><p>As long as they allowed her on the team, she would fight to stay. If not for her, for her parents and their happiness. The possibility of getting kicked off the team was very real in the back of her head, she knew she had to step up if she actually wanted to stick around, but she pushed away the uncomfortable thought. </p><p>With newfound resolution, she stood, knees cramping under her and eyes burning with tears. She repeated this process a lot through the weeks at PSU, and it almost always went the same way. She would go to the bathroom, cry it out, almost call her dad to come pick her up, then she would get stubborn and leave. </p><p>Only to find herself right back at it the next day. </p><p>But for now, she let that newfound resolution carry her to the court, hoping desperately to avoid the pointed stare Neil would give her if she was late again. </p><p>Neil was one of the mysteries on the team, even though he was the one she knew the most about. They had all seen the news broadcasts and the articles from his junior year at PSU, it was impossible to not know who Neil Josten was. </p><p>Especially since his stunts had been the catalyst for the death of Riko Moriyama. </p><p>Jack and Sheena had apparently set out to make life as difficult for him as possible, but he never seemed to falter in their presence and harsh words. Actually, sometimes he seemed like he found them rather amusing, often whispering comments to an unimpressed Andrew Minyard when Jack or Sheena had fired a jab at him. Then again, Robin thought, Andrew could think it was the funniest thing in the world for all she knew. </p><p>The cousins were so wildly different that sometimes it could give Robin whiplash in conversations. </p><p>Aaron was brash and definitely had an attitude problem. Man could hold a grudge and what little interaction she had had with him, was in a group setting and nothing but practical. </p><p>Nicky was nice, and one of the only people who had actually been welcoming when she showed up. He often did try to bring her into conversation, but every time it always ended up being ruined by someone else. “Someone else” often Jack, Sheena or the awful combination that was both of them. </p><p>The last one was Andrew. And if Robin thought that Neil was confusing, Andrew Minyard was written in another language. He rarely looked anything but bored, sometimes changing it up for pissed off, and even that was nothing but a quick quirk of his eyebrow. </p><p>She knew he carried knives, and had only seen one of them once, when Jack had found it funny to call Neil “Junior”. Neil had punched Jack hard enough in the face to break his nose. Andrew had passed him one of the knives afterwards, making Neil’s face pull back in the goofiest smiles of adoration she had ever seen on the man. </p><p>“In case you wanna finish the job” Minyard had said, then turned around and left for the maserati with a cigarette hanging between his lips. </p><p>Jack had not been as cruel in his jabs towards Neil, ever since then, his nose had only turned back to normal a little week ago, and apparently the shock was still enough to make him hold back. </p><p>However, Robin did have to admit that Andrew Minyard and Neil Josten threatening your life would be enough for her to piss her pants. Jack had held a braver face than she ever could. </p><p>The thought left a sour taste in her mouth as the glass doors or the court open and set for the locker rooms. </p><p>One thing she was certain of, was that Andrew Minyard hated her guts. </p><p>When he was staring indifferently at nothing, or whispering with Neil, he would stare daggers at her. Scrutinizing her every move, both on and off the court, which was terrifying enough in itself. </p><p>What was worse was when Jack and Sheena tag teamed her, and he would look at her with something behind his eyes she couldn’t read, when whatever he waited for didn’t happen, he would look away, as if nothing was happening. </p><p>Neil was a different story. He often got into it with Jack or Sheena when they fucked with Robin, resulting in Wymack having to put an end to it rather gruffly. </p><p>Robin would easily admit to herself that she looked up to Neil, probably to a point where she could barely manage to say a word to him without being reduced to a nervous mess. He was on a completely different level than her, he was amazing at EXY, he fought back tooth and nail, but as soon as conflict passed he was all easy smiles and such a huge contrast to Andrew’s death glares and indifference. </p><p>Neil also didn’t seem to hate her like his counterpart seemed to do, and if she wasn’t too busy worshipping the ground he walked on, she might have a chance to make him a friend. Or at least an ally. </p><p>But then again, no wonder Andrew hated her. Compared to him, she was probably the worst goalie the Foxes had ever seen. </p><p>No-one acknowledged her when she entered the lounge, most of them opting for ignoring her completely, not willing to get on Jack and Sheena’s shitlist for talking to her. </p><p>Robin went to the far corner that was unoccupied, already feeling Andrew’s eyes burning into the back of her skull from across the room. </p><p>Neil was chatting with Nicky about something in german, which Robins didn’t understand a single word of, but Andrew didn’t seem to care about the conversation that was happening over his head. His lazy eyes hung on her, as if she was nothing but a speck of dust that needed removal. </p><p>She hunched her shoulders, and began the tiring process of gearing up, hoping to at least get through practice before anything else could go wrong. </p><p>Luckily, her lateness was just late enough that neither Jack nor Sheena had the time to start anything before Wymack made his grand entrance, clipboard in his hands. </p><p>“Okay, recess is over let’s go foxes” Wymack doesn’t even look up from the papers on the clipboard, but the words set the entire room in motion, and the foxes bagan to file onto the court itself, bickering amongst themselves. </p><p>Robin makes sure to keep a safe distance between her and the people in front, two people she can place as Dina and some guy she forgot the name of since he was mostly silent. </p><p>Sheena and Jack were laughing all the way up front, about what Robin didn’t know, but with the dirty look Sheena sent her way, Robin could make a very qualified guess. It would seem that practice would not be nearly as peaceful as Robin had hoped for. </p><p>She was right, it didn’t even take half an hour before Jack was doing his best to fuck up everything he possibly could. </p><p>The drills went without further ado, mostly in silence, with few order from Wymack as they moved through the familiar motions around the court. Once they were all sweaty and warm enough to actually start, She took her spot as starting goalie, racquet held tightly in her hands ready for any and every shot made on goal. But before the ball could even reach her goal once, shit had already been set in motion. </p><p>“Learn how to use that racquet Jones, or I’ll have you running laps till you do” Wymack yelled across the pitch “You and Josten are on the same fucking team, act like it!” </p><p>Jack huffed and annoyed “Yes coach” but this only made him find more subtle ways to fuck up Neil’s game, and when Jack checked Neil for the third time, it would seem it was too much. </p><p>Neil’s helmet was off in seconds, eyes flashing dangerously at the younger man, a glint in his eyes that made Robin freeze on the spot. Jack must somehow have whispered something to Neil as their bodies had collided, and while Robin hadn’t seen Jack’s lips move, it was the only explanation for the absolute fury on the other’s face. Anger like that was not invoked by a simple body check. </p><p>Immediately, both Wymack and Nicky were racing across the field, Sheena coming up behind Jack as what little support she could offer. </p><p>Neil was on him in a second, hands gripped so tightly in his collar that it looked like he could lift Jack from the ground, despite the height advantage the latter had. No words were passed between them, there wasn’t time, Nicky stepped in between then, forcing Neil to let go. Wymack began an angry rant at both of them, while Sheena helped Jack stand from where he had fallen on the ground. </p><p>Robin had zoned out, too focussed on the flash in Neil’s eyes to pay attention to what Wymack had been yelling about. It wasn’t until that yelling was dedicated at her that she snapped back to reality, startling enough to almost drop her racquet.</p><p>“Cross, switch with Andrew, Jack you’re benched” the striker made a sputtering noise, and began to argue but was silenced by a pointed look from Wymack. Anger oozed from him as he stomped towards the benches Andrew was getting up from as the scene unfolded. </p><p>Robin felt disappointment bloom in her stomach, but she didn’t complain, not daring to piss him off more than she already had apparently. She walked stiffly and quickly from her place in goal, keeping her head down as she passed Minyard. She didn’t have to, he was too busy having a silent but intense staring competition with Neil across the field before taking his place at goal. </p><p>Why they even kept her was a mystery to her, she spent a majority of her time on the bench anyways, either because she was too overwhelmed or because she was switched for Andrew. And that was only practice as well, they hadn’t even gotten to the first game of the season and she was already behind. </p><p>They really would be better off without her. </p><p>Wymack blew the whistle, and the game went back in motion. However, Neil was very clearly still boiling with anger, and his game became more and more aggressive with his passings. Nicky mirrored this in a desperate attempt to resolve the tension, and Aaron seemed to be having a lot of fun with added tension. </p><p>Now that Jack was out of the equation, Sheena took full forefront in being a massive pain in the ass. And eventually the game turned more into a feud between Neil, Nicky, Aaron and the newbies. At some point Andrew began rebounding the ball back towards people’s ankles, which made Neil’s anger turn into a personal vendetta against Andrew at goal. </p><p>Which, much against Wymack’s orders, turned into a shootout between the two, that made Wymack have to stop the game yet again for a second angry rant about teamwork that no-one was listening to. It was getting too personal for either side to give up. </p><p>However it was after Wymack blew the whistle again that everything fell apart. </p><p>Andrew was rarely cooperative at practice, getting bored too easily as Neil had once said, but this was on another level. When the high pitched sound of the whistle rang out over the court, he took his spot in goal, stance perfect at the ready. </p><p>But when Neil fired the first shot, Andrew let it fly right past his defence without even trying to deflect it. </p><p>And then he sat down. </p><p>The game was pretty much over by then, and eventually Neil grew frustrated enough to yank of his helmet and shout something at Andrew in russing. Andrew replied in calmer russian, then stood from the goal and left through the swinging glass doors, leaving the entire team baffled. </p><p>Wymack sighed, rubbing the bridge between his thick, greying eyebrows before making a surrendering motion with his shoulders. </p><p>“Fine, we’re done for today it would seem” he yells, and Robin sees Dina give a sigh of relief as she leans on her silent friend. </p><p>Neil looks like he’s about to protest, but Nicky places a hand on his shoulder and Wymack silences him with a look that says “one word Josten, don’t”, and so Neil surrendered and briskly walked from the pitch, followed hesitantly by the rest of the team. None of them wanted to be caught in the crossfire. </p><p>Robin moves to follow, but is stopped by none other than Wymack himself, shouting her name. “Cross! A word?” and she feels her heart sink as she freezes on the spot. </p><p>As the last foxes filed out through the glass doors, Wymack made his way towards the benches she still hadn't moved to stand from. His brows knitted tightly in some sort of annoyance, Robin’s thoughts begin racing to any possible conclusion. </p><p><em> He’s kicking you off the team </em> , a voice whispers in the back of her head, and she almost starts crying right then and there, <em> this was the last straw, you’re out. </em></p><p>Her thoughts spin quicker and quicker out of proportion, and her fathers disappointed face takes forefront of her panic. She’s gonna have to call him anyways, after all she’s done not to, and it wont even be her choice. Suddenly the image of his pickup truck pulling up on the PSU parking lot is everything but comforting. She doesn't want to go. </p><p>She looks up at Wymack, ready to be met with the sorry but resolute knitted brows that she was so used to when he was about to pass unfortunate news. Instead she found them raised in something that almost looked like confusion and… was that concern? </p><p>Maybe she still had a chance. </p><p>“Cross-” he began, but she was already talking, fear making her voice shake as she stood from the harsh surface of the bench.</p><p>“Please sir, don’t set me off the team! I’ll do better, I’ll improve! I’ll do more after hours training, watch more of Andrew’s old games, I promise I-” her legs are shaking, threatening to force back to her position on the bench. </p><p>“Whoa there. Slow down kid, what the hell are you talking about?” Wymack’s hands were up in a position that reminded her of how you would calm a panicking horse. And that was definitely a concern in his eyes now, maybe he wasn’t kicking her? “Shit, Cross you need to breathe okay?” </p><p>That was about when she realized she couldn’t. Her breath was coming hard and fast, and she clutched the goalie racket in her hands like it was the only thing keeping her from drowning. </p><p>A panic attack. </p><p>“Easy there, sit down” Wymack placed a careful hand on her shoulder, gently pressing her back in her seat. Her body followed obediently, and she began grasping for the techniques her therapist had walked her through back when she was 11, and terrified all the time. </p><p>“I’m sorry... coach” she weezed as she fought to regain her breath, tears spinning to her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. Wymack doesn't answer, but she feels a large hand on her back and she slumps into the touch. it reminds her of her dad, he also never knew what to do when she panicked like this. </p><p>Slowly but surely, she regained her breathing and the black spots that had begun dancing in front of her eyes, slowly pulled back clearing her vision. </p><p>“You with me again kid?” Wymack’s gruff voice pulls her the rest of the way back from the edge, and she looks up to meet his eyes. </p><p>“I-I am Coach-” Her voice broke and it hurt a bit to talk “I’m sorry coach I don’t-” He held up a hand, and she shut her mouth immediately. </p><p>“No more apologizing, it’s not the first nor the worst time I’ve had to deal with one of you bastards like this” he leans back, and Robin feels something in her loosen up at the easy dismissal. So much difference from her parent’s fussing, it’s nice “at least you don’t break into my apartment unannounced”.</p><p>He looked off into the distance and made a distasteful face, clearly remembering a fox that did just that. Robin remained silent, unsure of what to respond, but luckily he didn’t seem to expect one. Instead he continues on a different note.</p><p>“I just wanted to talk to you about the team” the calm Robin had felt a second ago evaporates, and she turns her gaze to the floor “They’ve been giving you a really hard time, especially Jones and Alriva. Normally I would leave this shit alone, especially with brats like you, but usually most of the issues have settled at this time of the year. So I just wanted to check in with you Cross” </p><p>She blinked at him, baffled, unsure how to respond. She had never heard him say so many words that weren’t EXY related, and her brain was still a little slow after the panic had left her body. </p><p>Wymack shifts uncomfortably under her gaze as the silence dragged out, and eventually he grumbles out an annoyed “Fine” then stands up. </p><p>“Stop gawking at me like I’ve grown a third head” he scolds, but she is too surprised to take it to heart “Just don’t let them push you around too much, you’ll get trampled, Foxes are like that. Now go shower, you stink” and then he turned around and began walking. </p><p>Robin blinked once, twice, then sprung into action.</p><p>“Wait coach!” she reached out and grabbed his arm in her hand, he turned, eyebrows raised in that strange confusion again “I- I… It’s because I’m bad at the game, that’s why the others can’t stand me… I’ll make us lose” </p><p>It was only half the truth, it was because she was bad and would make them loose once they started playing for real. But it was mostly due to her fragile nature, she knew that as well, even if she wanted to she didn’t know how to fight back. </p><p>“You aren’t bad, you just haven’t had practice, and <em> watching </em> Minyard playing his game won't help you” he says deadpan as he crosses his arms “Whatever game the midget is playing, it sure as hell isn’t EXY, maybe that’s why he’s so good, when he wants to” the last part was added under the older man’s breath, and held a sort of childish bitterness that Robin probably would have found laughable. </p><p>“But how am i gonna get better, if I don’t know what to do?” Robin let her arms fall in disappointment. Wymack looked her up and down, then sighed. </p><p>“Listen if your catalyst for success is Andrew fucking Minyard, you have to practice really fucking hard to get anywhere, maybe even more than most. What Andrew has is raw, self taught talent, no amount of practice can get you there if he isn’t the one teaching you” Wymack was right, she knew he was. But if she could get Andrew’s help doesn’t he think she would? </p><p>“But he hates me! He would never agree to help me out” she whined, feeling more like giving up than ever. </p><p>Wymack was quiet for a second, then he laughed at her. Deep warm laughter that once again made her miss her father more than anything. Why the hell was he laughing at her like that. </p><p>“He doesn’t <em> hate </em> hate you.” The laughter is gone as quickly as it came “If Andrew hated you, you wouldn’t be in doubt… well you wouldn’t be here at all” another indescribable feeling went over his eyes. “he’s the one who picked out for the team” </p><p>Robin gaped at him, eyes wide, she couldn’t believe her own ears. </p><p>“What?” she asked incredulously, as if she needed to hear it again for confirmation. Andrew picked her out? Why? She was just an embarrassingly average EXY player compared to himself, they had nothing in common and until now he had shown no further interest in her beside the annoyed glares. </p><p>Wymack looked like he was about to explain further, but somewhere in his coat his phone began to play an obnoxiously loud and cheery tone. Conversation forgotten, he fished out the phone and answered. </p><p>“Kevin give me a second” he turned the receiver away as if that would stop Kevin from hearing whatever he planned on telling Robin “Don’t think too much about it, your best bet is talking to Neil if you really wanna know more” and then he waved her away and went back to the phone. </p><p>Robin didn’t even have time to fangirl over the fact that he was talking to <em> the </em> Kevin Day, too baffled with the fact that <em> the </em> Andrew Minyard had picked her out. </p><p>She just caught something that sounded an awful lot like “Ansrew’s new goalie” before coach was out of earshot.</p><p>She felt like she was on autopilot as she began her walk towards the locker room that was mostly empty at this point. The talk combined with her little panic performance probably put her more than half an hour behind the others. </p><p>Embarrassment heated up her cheeks as she silently finished up her routine and got dressed back in her bright orange hoodie with the fox paw on the front. She liked the orange, even though it was a little too vibrant to match with other colors than black and white, but that was fine by her. </p><p>Her shoulder length black hair, dark eyes and the fact that she rarely wore anything other than sports shorts and a t-shirt, it was the most color she had worn for years. </p><p>The one she had was a size too big, but that was okay, the fabric was soft and thick, and even in the South Carolina heat it was worth it when the tears pressed against her eyelids at night. If she closed her eyes and really tried, she could almost pretend it was a hug.</p><p>She normally ran back to the tower, but that day she opted for walking instead, exhaustion was making her trip back agonizingly slow. She just wanted to go to sleep, crawl in bed and sleep until everything was back to normal. Never think about Andrew or EXY or Jack and Sheena ever again. </p><p>However, that apparently was too much to ask for, because the second she reached the tower, both of the aforementioned had placed themselves in the entrance. Cigarettes between their fingers, slumped up against the wall like the world to go fuck itself for all they cared. </p><p>Robin felt her shoulders hunch once more as she approached. She could pinpoint the exact moment they spotted her as Jack’s lips pulled back into an ugly smile and Sheena stood from her crouched position on the sidewalk. </p><p>“Hey there Crybaby'' She mocked, Jack laughed and stepped on his cigarette bud. Despite her best efforts, Robin flinched, and took a step back. </p><p>“Did the old man finally see reason? No use having a goalie that can’t defend shit” Jack jabbed, taking her retreat as an opportunity to advance. Robin took another step back, too tired to even pretend. </p><p>“I-I-” she stammered, trying to force her voice to work, but it didn’t. Instead her throat closed up, tying knots upon her vocal cords and effectively shutting her up. </p><p>Because she was right, she was no use as a goalie. If she couldn’t even defend herself against these two, then what the fuck use was she on court? Nothing. She was lucky if Coach would let her play a full half before exchanging her for Andrew, and even then it would only be so Andrew could fix the mess she made. </p><p>That was how it had been with Walker the year prior, and she had been miles ahead of where Robin was currently. Everyone knew she was not on the same level at all. </p><p>Then again, she was only here because Andrew had vouced for her, not for her abilities on court, Coach had said so himself. Whatever Andrew had seen in her must have been a trick of the eye. </p><p>“I-I-! Ha, did someone’s record finally break?” Sheena laughed, and pushed Robin backwards, making har stumble “So what, did he finally kick you or what?” </p><p>“Or did he offer a way for you to stay?” Jack remarked, making a hand gesture that reminded Robin an awful lot of a caricature of sucking dick. Robin flinched again, her face heating up and nausea building up in her throat. </p><p>“You’re obviously not very experienced there Jack, if that’s how you think you do it” surprised, all three of them turned towards the newcomer, “will be hard for <em> you </em> to find someone who’s willing to practice on though”</p><p>Neil was wearing a pair of running shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt, his hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat and in his hand was a water bottle, he came from a run it would seem. </p><p>Jack sputtered, face going several shades darker as he took a step in Neil’s direction, hands balled up in whiknuckled fists. </p><p>“Ah, ah, ah” Neil ignored the aggressiveness “Bad dog, and your nose just healed what a shame” that made Jack stop and backpedal, letting himself get pulled the rest of the way by Sheena. “Now run along, I’m not in the mood”</p><p>Robin felt herself getting hoisted up from where she had landed on the sidewalk when Sheena pushed her, watching the two reluctantly disappear into the building they all shared. </p><p>“Are you alright?” Neil was staring at her, and she suddenly realized how shitty she must have looked. Clothes ruffled, hair messy and eyes red rimmed and puffy from the tears, she must have been quite the sight. </p><p>Suddenly she became self-conscious in a way she rarely did, standing there with Neil Josten looking like a trainwreck personified. She quickly began brushing off the dust her trip to the sidewalk had left her with, trying to straighten out the hoodie that should definitely have been washed a day ago. </p><p>“Uhm I- Sorry I was just-” she stopped herself as her desperate attempts at looking somewhat decent were halted by her duffle bag falling to the ground with a thud. Embarrassment filled her, just like when she had started bawling like a little child in front of Wymack an hour ago. Fucking pathetic. </p><p>Neil didn’t say anything, just bended down and picked up her duffle, easily slinging it over his shoulder. </p><p>“Don’t worry about it, let me take you back to your dorm so those idiots don’t get any good ideas” and then he began walking towards the building. </p><p>She was about to follow him when Wymack’s words from before came back to her, and she realized this might be her best chance at having a conversation with Neil. She would definitely not have the balls for it tomorrow when she woke up. </p><p>Maybe it was the exhaustion, or the adrenaline from her panic attack that still remained or maybe it was finally a little show of willpower that made her stop and call out to him.</p><p>“Is it true that Andrew picked me for the team?” Neil halted and turned around, eyebrows raised in surprise “Coach he- I’m- He” the resolution was apparently gone. </p><p>“Yeah it is” Neil didn’t seem to mind the fact that she could barely produce a sentence, but his answer shut her up pretty quickly anyways “He had his eye on you for a while actually”</p><p>“Then why does he hate me?” It simply didn’t make any sense, if he spent so much time looking into her, then why did it seem like he would rather want her gone? </p><p>Neil stared at her for a second, and he almost looked… baffled? If that was the right word to describe his face. Then a smile pulled at his lips, and Robin almost fell back over. </p><p>Neil rarely smiled for real. He smirked, and grimaced and mocked, but smiles like the one she witnessed there was not very common. Actually she couldn’t pinpoint ever having seen it before. </p><p>“He doesn’t hate you in the way you think” He leans against the wall beside the door, much like Jack had been a few minutes ago “It would be a lot different if he did, you wouldn’t be here” Robin huffed. </p><p>“Yeah that’s what Wymack said as well” she mumbled and shifted uncomfortably from her left to her right leg “I just don’t get it, why pick me when he’s obviously disappointed? It’s not like I’m any different than when I was scouted” her voice was bordering on whiny, but she didn’t care. Neil was her best bet on finding out how to talk to Andrew, and that would be a trivial piece in gaining her spot on the team for real. </p><p>“Firstly and foremost, Andrew isn’t <em> obviously </em> anything, he wants nothing and expects nothing” Neil corrected her, his voice leaving no room for argument “secondly, he doesn’t like you either, don’t make that mistake either. He doesn’t like anyone” Neil sunk to the floor and patted the ground beside him. She shuffled over there, and sat down, leaving a comfortable space between them. </p><p>“The reason he brought you here is because you intrigue him, I think.” He doesn’t look at her, opting instead to focus on the sun setting in the background “but I wouldn’t know, he didn’t talk to me about you, I won’t pretend to know his motives” </p><p>“But you know him better than anyone else!” Robin protested, letting her voice raise a bit in volume. Because it was obvious to anyone with eyes that the two of them had some sort of deeper connection. </p><p>She was still trying to find out if that was a riverlary or they were fucking, the line seemed almost non-existent with the two of them. </p><p>Some days, Andrew would have his pinky hooked in Neil’s belt strap, subtle but clearly familiar. Other days, like today had been, they would be at each other's throats, whether that be in Russian or English, bringing all hell to each other on court. </p><p>But she had also seen Andrew hightail it across an entire court to break an EXY legends arm, back in Neil’s first season. </p><p>Whatever they were, there was a level of shared understanding that none of the other foxes could compete with. </p><p>Neil didn’t respond, just got a strange look in his eyes that Robin couldn’t place. For a second she panicked, thinking she had said something wrong, then he shook his head and it was gone as fast as it came. </p><p>“Nah, he hates me” he just said, voice as chipper as always “Anyways, we should head back inside, he’s been blowing my phone up the past 5 minutes” he said lightly, then stood up and gave Robin a hand up. </p><p>As if on cue, the swing doors slammed open, and there stood all five foot of Andrew Minyard. He was wearing the normal blacks and greys, and in his hand was a set of car keys. </p><p>However, that wasn’t what made Robin take a step back. His eyes were stormy and dark, anger swirling under the golden hue of his hazel eyes. </p><p>“Andrew” Neil greeted like nothing was amis, meeting Andrews eyes without a care for the murder they promised “Robin got into trouple, roof?” </p><p>Silently, Andrew slid his eyes to her, and Robin felt a shiver run down her spine. Then he looked back at Neil, indifference taking over his features. </p><p>“No,” he just said, and Neil shrugged and turned to Robin.</p><p>“I’ll drop this off at your room” and then he left the two of them standing on the sidewalk in uncomfortable silence. </p><p>Andrew stares at her for another minute, then he pulls out a cigarette from his pocket and lights it. Robin feels a spark of irritation inside her, and she makes the stupidest decision in her life. </p><p>Maybe she really does have a death wish. </p><p>“Why did you bring me here? You knew I was terrible, so why?” she demanded, but her voice shook and her face heated up in anticipation. Was he gonna hit her? Possibly, but also unlikely. Maybe he would just ignore her, untill she went away like she had seen him do with Aaron and Nicky. </p><p>He could kill you, the voice in the back of her head supplies, an option she had not taken into consideration. He carried knives in the armbands, and while she couldn’t see them, chances were that he was armed at the moment. She wasn’t, and even if she was, she would be useless against someone like Andrew. </p><p>She had talked more to her teammates tonight than she had over the past four weeks, maybe this development was making her too bold. A new rush of adrenaline had supplied her the confidence to continue, or maybe it was just all the pent up anger that finally boiled over. </p><p>He had brought her here after all, this was all his fault. </p><p>Andrew didn’t dignify her with a response, just fixed his eyes on his maserati that was parked only a few feet away. His eye must have caught something, cause he walked the short distance and brushed his fingers over the shiny black surface. </p><p>This somehow annoyed Robin even more.</p><p>“What the hell are you doing?” she demanded, this time managing to get a little more force behind her voice, and much to her satisfaction it made him turn around. </p><p>His face betrayed nothing, nothing but plain and pale like smooth porcelain in the setting sun. Then he clicked his tongue, and walked back to her so they were as close to face to face with someone over half a head shorter than her. </p><p>“Waiting” he answered, simple and uncommitted, not answering her question at all. </p><p>“For what?” she retorted “Jack and Sheena pushing me off the roof so I’m no longer your walking mistakes?” </p><p>Andrew stared at her for a long time, taking a long drag of his cigarette. In that moment he looked more like a lion observing his prey, than a person and Robin suddenly understood why they called him “Monster”. </p><p>“I assume you’ll fight back eventually” he responds after what felt like hours or years, Robin lost track of time as she was rooted to the pavement by his eyes staring daggers at her. </p><p>Would she? Probably not, even if she wanted, she wouldn’t be able to. Shame creeps up the back of her neck, and he has to avert her eyes. </p><p>You never were able to fight back were you? The voice whispers, if you could, maybe he wouldn’t have taken another-.</p><p>“I don’t know how to” she cuts off the evil voice that snaked its way around her thoughts and turned them dark. Now was not the time to start falling apart. </p><p>“Hmm” Andrew just huffed, finishing the cigarette and throwing the bud at the nearest storm drain. Then he turned and walked back towards the door. Robin didn’t stop him this time. </p><p>She spent another few minutes on the sidewalk, brain running a thousand miles per hour. </p><p>Great work, now he thinks you’re even more of a pussy, you can’t even take care of yourself, now he’s never gonna help you, you idiot! Weren’t the plans to make friends with him? Now what are you gonna do? </p><p>Frustrated, she kicked at the pavement, the toe of her shoe caught on the edge of a brick, almost making her fall right on her face. Fuck. </p><p>She really was pathetic. </p><p>She ripped out her phone from her pocket, opened the lid, and found her fathers contact. It would be so easy to just leave Palmetto and never ever have to think about Andrew Minyard ever again. </p><p>“Hey dad, it isn’t working, some pick me up I wanna go home” she whispers it out loud, just to test the words. It would be so fucking easy.</p><p>But even then she couldn’t do it, it was no longer just about EXY, it was about her worth, and she was not about to let herself down again. Never again. </p><p>That little girl never got a chance like this, the voice whispers, this is the least you can do. That was how she had made herself do a lot of things through the years, now more than ever it worked wonders. </p><p>Closing her phone she sighed hard and dried her eyes that had begun leaking again. </p><p>“Pathetic” she whispered again, taking a deep breath and began the long trip upwards to her dorm room. </p><p>oOo</p><p>She woke up to the sound of loud baning on her door. She had almost fallen asleep immediately after laying down on her bed, and while it wasn’t that late, most of the inhabitants of the dormitories were fast asleep by now. </p><p>Somewhere to her left, Sheena grumbled something about shutting the fuck up, but Robin was startled by the banging again. </p><p>“Answer the fucking door Crybaby” Sheena demanded through her sleepy haze, and Robin almost jumped from her bed in the effort to get there fast enough. </p><p>She tore the door open, ready to say piss off to whoever decided to interrupt her sleep and the shock at who stood on the other side almost made her fall backwards.</p><p>“We’re going to the roof, come on” Andrew instructed, then he began walking down the hall, hand stuffed in the deep pockets of his black hoodie. </p><p>For a moment Robin was frozen, her heart beating loud enough to drown out everything else around her. </p><p>What did he want with her? Was he finally gonna give her some real answers? Unlikely. Maybe it was some sort of peace offering? Just as unlikely. </p><p>She considered closing the door and going back to sleep, but she felt like if she did, she would regret it later. What if this was really her entrance to the team? </p><p>Sheena’s sharp complaining about the brightness of the hallway light from deeper in the room shook her out of it, and she hurriedly pulled on her shoes and followed Andrew down the hall. </p><p>She caught up to him quickly, but considering his small stature he was rather fast even when just walking. </p><p>What the fuck are you doing now? Following this physco around in the middle of the night? He’s gonna kill you, this is it, he’ll kill you. Her inner monologue went haywire as they moved further and further up the stairs, until they reached the maintenance door with the big warning sign on. </p><p>WARNING: DO NOT ENTER </p><p>Rather self explanatory, but Andrew didn’t seem to care much for the warning. Didn’t even hesitate as he opened the door and led the two of them out onto the huge roof that overlooked most of campus. </p><p>The wind was cold, harsh against her soft skin and through her thin pajamas. But she didn’t turn around, no she had committed now, there was no turning back now.  </p><p>He stepped all the way up to the edge, then looked back at her expectantly. She hesitated. </p><p>“You’re not afraid of heights are you?” he asked, voice rough as he put a cigarette between his lips. The genuine question puzzled her, it was the most human the monster had ever seemed, but somehow that just intrigued her even more. </p><p>She shook her head, and joined him at the edge, staring out at the thousands of lights that signified the city's nightlife buzz. She had never experienced a city’s nightlife, maybe someday she would have the courage to. </p><p>“Not height’s no” she didn’t look at him but kept her eyes on the brilliant lights. The city light’s made it impossible to see the stars, what a shame she thought looking up at the dark sky “But the idea of falling does” </p><p>“Hmm” Andrew hummed, then he looked straight at her, eyes glinting in the nightlights “Hit me or I’m gonna push you off” </p><p>Baffled, Robin freezes, because she couldn’t have heard him right. That wasn’t possible. </p><p>“What?” she breathed out, voice shaking, whether it was from the cold wind or the sudden freezing fear that gripped her heart, she couldn’t tell. </p><p>“Hit me, or I’ll push you off the roof” he repeated, tone as neutral as it would be when talking about the weather “I won't repeat myself again” </p><p>She almost jumped herself when a hand came up on her back, right between her shoulder blades, gripping her shirt in a strong grasp. </p><p>She yelped pathetically when he gave her nudge forward, making her sway dangerously. He didn’t say anything else, but she could feel his eyes burning and waiting; waiting, waiting, waiting. </p><p>He nudged her again, and she stumbled. For a terrifying moment he was the only thing keeping her from the cold grasps of death before she regained her footing. She was gonna die. Her mind was filled with static, pulse beating in her ears as he pushed again, this time a little further. </p><p>“Please” she stammered, and as if the plea had pulled the trigger to her doom, he finally pushed her the last bit of way. There was no way she was gonna catch her footing like this. </p><p>He was holding on to the back of her shirt, both of her feet were almost completely free of ground. She would fall and die if he let go of her. </p><p>Her mind screamed at her; fight, fight, fight. But her limbs wouldn’t cooperate. Panic swallowed her rational thoughts, and for just a moment she felt like she was watching herself from above. She wanted to turn around and hit him, fight him, bite scream and claw at him until he pulled her back. </p><p>But she couldn’t. </p><p>Just like she couldn't back then.</p><p>
  <em> She had blonde pigtails, a pair of overalls and cute blue eyes. The complete opposite of Robin herself, Steven was tired of her after all.  </em>
</p><p>Weak, pathetic, about to die without a fight. Thrown from a roof, without ever having lived. Meaningless, like that little girl. That little girl who never got to live because of Robin. </p><p>Who never got to grow up. </p><p>Who never got to love, or the option to fight to live. </p><p>Who never got to see the sunset from a rooftop or the embrace of her parents. </p><p>The blue eyes and blonde pigtails haunted Robin in her dreams, and right then, on the brink of death, it was all she could see. </p><p>She gripped Andrew's arm, gaining enough leverage to aim in a last desperate attempt at life, and then she swung at him. He didn’t do anything to move out of the way, and her fist connected with his cheekbone. </p><p>He barely moved beyond pulling her back from the edge, to the middle of the roof. Safety, she could have sobbed with relief as she fell to her knees on the concrete. She doesn’t cry, much to her surprise.</p><p>Instead, a bizarre form of a smile fights its way onto her features, and with a feeling of triumph she raises her eyes to meet Andrews. </p><p>The area where she hit him won’t bruise, but that’s not what makes her smile widen. No, it’s the glint in his eye, the one that tells her she did the right thing. </p><p>His expression doesn’t change, there is not a smidge of proudness or satisfaction to trace, but she feels all that herself. </p><p>You fought, you fought, you fought, the voice chants, and she would join if he had any control of her body. </p><p>They stare at each other for a long time, at least it feels like it. The cold wind turns her muscles to statues and she stops shaking. Maybe time came with the freezing wind, made them statues of triumph mounted on the very roof she conquered.</p><p>Eventually he moves, breaking the spell that had been cast on them, fishing out another cigarette from the packet. She follows his movement, and watches as he throws one down onto the roof in front of her. </p><p>"Your form is lousy" he rasped, without any real bite behind the words. Robin couldn't care less, she survived. </p><p>Then he walks past her and towards the edge, silence hanging between them as he sits down slowly with both his legs hanging off the edge. </p><p>She doesn’t hesitate this time, picking up the cigarette he had left her, and joins him at the edge. </p><p>He lights his own first, then hands her the lighter and she mimics him. She refuses to cough as she inhales the smoke, the silence between them holy in a way she could later never describe. </p><p>At some point he stands up and leaves her behind there, but she stays until the sun rises over Palmetto State and Fox tower. </p><p>Until the sun rises over home. </p>
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